2011 Draft Lottery

Through two and a half hours of the slowest bingo EVER neither Sharon's or Dave's numbers were drawn. I am pretty sure the bar hired a narcoleptic bingo caller. Honestly there was so much time between games that had Jesse been there he MIGHT have had enough time to grow the makings of a pencil mustache. This created a super cereal dilemma regarding the integrity of the lottery system. Once bingo ended and we were refused service at two other bars we were forced to do the next most logical thing: determine the fate of the 1st pick. We did so by holding a good old classic coin flip. Because of some operator error the first coin flip would be lost to the shadows of the night. Fortunately like so many of Paul's golf shots it was ruled that first one was just practice and that a mulligan would be granted. With the designated re-flip in midair several spotters followed the coin as it made its descent towards the ground. With each turn of the coin representing the fulfillment of one man's hopes and dreams while at the same time bringing complete devastation to whoever gets stuck with the second pick. After immediate inspection of the coin it was revealed that the coin landed tails in favor of Dave.

Just like that the 2011 Fantastic Pears Fantasy Football League Draft Order was determined.

Draft Order:

1. TheBullySirs (Dave)

For the second year in a row a rookie to The Fantastic Pears has had the good fortune of landing the first pick in the draft. A word of caution, the relatively unknown Dave enters the league in high regards of the league's very own zero time champion Jake. Supposedly Dave knows his stuff and is likely to come to the draft well prepared with his own lists of player rankings. So if Dave does indeed have his shit together he just may be able to have a draft as successful using the number one pick as Mike did last year.

Projected Pick: Adrian Peterson

2. smash somthin (Sharon)

There is a certain player that I feel is and should be a lock for Sharon with the number two pick. Hint: After nearly going un-drafted a year ago until a trade Sharon was apart of where I moved up to draft this mystery RB with the 101st pick. This RB then went onto become the top performing back of 2010.

Projected Pick: Arian Foster

3. Devil Dog (Paul)

With all but one of last years teams to make the playoffs receiving shitty picks outside of the top five it comes to no surprise that the one who finds himself in the top five is Paul. For the second year in a row Paul will have the third pick. After making his third straight appearance in the Pear Bowl last season it is clear that Paul's strategy of taking RBs early and a QB late is effective. Which is why I expect a similar draft pattern from him this season.

Projected Pick: Chris Johnson

4. Silverbacks (Charlie)

Last Season with the fifth pick Charlie was the first to select a non-runing back. This year however it seems as if the RB position is deeper then in years past. So if he finds himself drafting again with an appetite for receptions let me be the first to recommend the #27 Ray Rice which comes with nearly 1,000 rushing yards and a side of 600 receiving yards.

Projected Pick: Ray Rice

5. "Insert lame team name here" (Stephanie)

This being her first year its expected that she will select BPA which is a sound strategy no matter where you are in the draft. However at pick number five it gets harder to define who the best player available is considering both the top QB and WR are still on the board. While I do think Randy Moss would be a GREAT PICK here, she doesn't have the balls to draft a non RB.

Projected Pick: Jamaal Charles

6. Pimpin' Aint Breesy (Matt)

Well here is hoping that the reining champ is concerned about retaining his team name and selects Drew Brees. That or in a desperate attempt to find just one player from the old country he loses track of time and as the clock hits zero he winds up stuck with Mario Manningham.

Projected Pick: Darren McFadden

7. Murderapolis Killers (Jesse)

First things first this guy is a sick man who will not hesitate for one second to commit trade rape if it results in him winning. It has been heard from his own mouth that he plans on reuniting with Turner and continue the foul acts that have lead to him earning 4th place the past two seasons. It is believed that he may latter draft Justin Forsett just for the pure joy he would receive by creating a Frankenstein team name using both RBs lasts names. If your confused by this here is "Turner over and Forsett in" if you say it fast enough you should get it. If you still don't hear it think Kobe Bryant. Its practically the same name Jesse used last season.

Projected Pick: Michael Turner

8. Raging Rhinos (Cody)

While I would be open to trading up from the eighth pick I feel its a good spot to grab the player who has the most boom and bust potential and by doing so I become the first to brake away from the oppressive beliefs that attempt to chain us to RBs in the first round.

Projected Pick: Michael Vick

9. Case and Point (Jamie)

Another Fantasy Football noob who will be taking the BPA. Hoping that his pick is the Real McCoy and able to rival the stats of Ray Rice, Jamie takes the Philly RB.

Projected Pick: LeSean McCoy

10. Ruben Boumtje Boumtje (Jake)

Jake is SUPER pissed that the lotto has prevented him from being able to rely on All Day every Sunday this season. So between his crying over the "unfairness" of the draft lotto and emptying the sand out from his vag, i expect him to be unprepared for the draft. In an attempt to make himself look smart I predict he will be the first person to take a WR.

Projected Pick: Andre Johnson

GOOD LUCK EVERY ONE AND SEE YOU @ THE DRAFT ON FRIDAY

p.s. feel free to crash Jake's house any time on Friday but try to be there between 5-6 (enough time to throw the football around and pound some pre-draft beers.)